2011

I sat at coffee with a friend the other day and we discussed what has been going on in my life. This year has brought with it so many new things. New questions, new thoughts and new emotions.
Questions about people and whether they can truly change:
I received a phone call the other day from a friends parent. someone that I have never had a conversation with before but who has changed my life drastically by bad things that he has done in his life. It was nice to see that people do try and change but at the same time it broke me because even though he was apologizing for all that he had done it would not change the past no matter how much he wishes it could.
New thoughts about the future and what I want to do with my life:
I applied for school this week at a school to become a youth worker but I don't know how my parents will deal with it. It is a bible school and my mom is atheist. I really hope I get in though and that my mom can get past that and support me in my choice to go there.
And last new emotions:
I have a new boy friend and I have fallen for him hard. He is amazing and a complete sweet heart but it is so hard. I am scared to care for him like I did Sam and I know there is a high chance that will happen. When I look into his eyes all that fear dissipates into a warm feeling. A feeling that makes me feel wanted and makes me okay with wanting him.
I look forward to the year to come with eyes held wide open with both fear and excitement